7 Reasons to Skip the Beard

{By Ellery Sadler}

 1. If you are a girl. (This is obvious, unless, perhaps, you are in the circus. Even then, isn’t there a different job you’d like better?)



2. You might end up looking like this.

why you should skip the beard



Or this. [Please think of your grandkids.]

why guys should not have beards

3. As a general service to humanity, to increase the attractiveness of the population – skip the beard.

Screen Shot 2014-04-12 at 8.48.31 AM

4. Beards originated because there was no way to shave them off. Announcement:  we have now -ingeniously – figured out how to shave them off. We use razors. They are very sharp knives. It’s the twenty-first century. So lets try not to look like cavemen, shall we?

Screen Shot 2014-04-12 at 8.53.09 AM caveman beard


5. Statistics have shown that guys without beards are 90% more attractive. [Did you ever see James Dean, Marlon Brando, or Cary Grant with a beard? I don’t think so.]

handsome man without beard

6.  A lot of times, beards are just teenagers desperately trying to look like twenty-somethings when they’re not.




7. Even Brad Pitt can’t pull it off …

Screen Shot 2014-04-12 at 8.45.42 AM


But if you feel it is absolutely necessary to have facial hair, you could always go for something attractive like these.

attractive beard

attractive beard


guy with attractive beard


And if you  have to have a beard, here is a guide to show you the different options you have. [Warning: most will make you look like a caveman or mountain man or something along those lines.]

beard guide